I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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