I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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