help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
