The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
