my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
