is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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