Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
