you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
