What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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