How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
