new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
