Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
