honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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