look no pants
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
