dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
