Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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