Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sorry about my life...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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