do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
