Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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