he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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