So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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