It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
wow bdsm is so cute
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