I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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