so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
