Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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