remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
