well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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