He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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