I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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