Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
