D3 body, D1 cock
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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