I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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