I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
