This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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