She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
