Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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