I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
