i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is Oprah even human
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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