Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
