He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
