I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
