We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
