So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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