A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
