Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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