I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
