Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
