i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
