I think my fart just growled at me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
