So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
