booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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