bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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