why didn't you poke me back
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
